I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
