My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize