Tell her she can't have a vagina
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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