Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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