I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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