it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
