that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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