when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
