i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
