It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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