i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
