i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
