She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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