Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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