I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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