jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
