He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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