I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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