i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
