peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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