There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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