Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
