those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
