I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
