what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
