Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
