haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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