he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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