im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
