The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize