I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Two words: nipple clamps
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