his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
