My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
