Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
