return my video game
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
