Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
