i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
