everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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