Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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