the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize