Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
