Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
