i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
