Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
