im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
