absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
