we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
