My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
