I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
