So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
