Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
