no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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