i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
