i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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