Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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