Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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