Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
