There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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