i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
