I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
