New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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