it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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