what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
