just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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